What am I doing here

I've been feeling a little strange of late, especially at work. Its nothing to do with the new girl in the test team, I mean that's not strange, although with luck she might be.

No its more a sort of am I really here and why are all these idiots so worked up and can I be bothered to think about this stuff type of thing. I suppose its a sort of pre-occupied, there's something 'd rather be doing, somewhere I'd rather be sort of feeling. I mean I used to enjoy it, well it kept me sort of entertained, or at least awake most of the time.

You see years ago, well until quite recently I suppose, I liked the idea of having a holiday home, a pied a terre in La Bellle France. I'd look in the estate agents windows and oooh and aahhh, but really I didn't want one, it was just a case of well it would be nice I suppose but I'd rather not be tied, type of thing. I wouldn't want to spend all of my meagre holidays in just one place, looking after it.

No you see I've got those itchy feet. I'm not a big fan of aeroplanes. To me travel is exactly that, the process of getting there, the journey, the exprience of finding you way, the changing landscape, people, language and food, not a few hours in a plane and getting out somewhere hot and smelly after just a few hours discomfort. Its all about the transition, the experience, seeing the slow change, the ..... journey.

That's probaby why I like camping so much. It frees you to go anywhere, any day. When you've seen it you move on. If the weather's bad or whatever, just pack up and go. Perhaps I've gypsy blood (although it'd have to be a long way back).

Actually I like to think of myself as a true Englishman with the sea in his veins, destined to explore and find new lands. Yes for me camping at sea was the ultimate experience..........true its difficult to get the pegs to stay in, but well you can compromise and caravan, which is really what sailing is all about. Anyway I digress.

The thing is, it seems like a lifetine since we were at the cottage. In truth its just 3 weeks, since our long weekend in paradise. Trouble is it seems like a long time till Easter when we next go, and frankly it is.

Anyway what I'm inching towards saying is I've sort of changed, from a don't want to be tied to one place sceptic to a just want to be there believer. The thing is that I quite like having a bolt hole, a little place I can dream about, look forard to being at and maybe one day live. Yes I still want to bungy a tent to my helmet and ride off to discover Wales or Switzerland or some other foresaken land, but....well what I really want is to go to Le Grand Pressigny and decorate the bath(shower)room, wire up the kitchen lights and walk, fish the Claise, shop on the village market, BBQ, even watch the village football team.

Now if I could just arrange that small lottery win and not need to work for another 5 years 8 months and 2 days......